It was a little chilly at Wednesday's Party-in-the-Park...but the crowd was just as big...and so were the women. Good thing they're wearing camouflage. I can barely see their heaving bosoms.

Thanks to all the men and women in uniform fighting to liberate a rack.

It's amazing what a trip to Will's Pawn Shop can do. I now have a camera...and honest-to-goodness FO-TO-GRAFFS. I'm thinking about renting a booth at the next Party-in-the-Park. You and your family can wear old west get-ups, and have yer tintype made. Mary Lou'll fashion you a leather vest, and a belt with your name on it.

Shoo doggie! Now cowpokes...saddle up fer some pitchers-

Look! It's Razin Kane, and their enormous fan base. You know Razin Kane is a good band because they replaced the S with a Z. Remember Boyz 2 Men? The same is true for turning one-D into double-D's. Remember Color Me Badd? One more outburst like that...and I'll sex you up!





"Hey lil' girl. Pull my finger!"

Pffffffffp.

"Ahhhhhh!"




Run for your lives! It's a 40 foot bottle of Budweiser.

The King has returned...and he's p***ed off!!!







"Dangit Rico. Castillo just dripped his daiquiri on my sockless wicker shoes."

"What?" replied Tubbs.

Crockett threw his head back, pointed to his feet, and repeated, "Wicker shoes."

Tubbs ran his ebony fingers across his scruffy facade. "Sonny," he mumbled, "I don't wanna wick her shoes when they taste wike wicker."

Will the Camo Cuties make the riverfront safe for democracy?

Can a 40-foot bottle of Bud do the Purple People Bridge Climb ?

Does anyone remember Miami Vice?

Tune in Wednesday, May 10, for the answers to these and other burning questions...

Before I get started on this initial Party Source Party-in-the-Park blog, I’d like to make a desperate plea. Please come forward if you have any evidence that can lead to the capture and conviction of the person(s) who stole the new digital camera from Cincinnati USA.

And don’t blame it on the janitorial staff. That’s so 1988.

Question: When Cincinnati USA was known as The Chamber of Commerce, were cleaning ladies called Chamber maids?

I was planning to write clever-yet-concise captions about snapshots from Party-in-the-Park. Butt- the cleaning people stole the camera, so I’m forced to improvise.

Let’s begin.

The 2006 Party-in-the-Park season began with real San Diego type weather. Sunny and 72. In fact, Cincinnati USA dreams of a day when some San Diego blogger refers to their perfect weather as real Cincinnati type weather.

Personally, I think the Cincinnati Zoo should try to hire that Joan Embry woman. I’ve never read anywhere that Joan Embry killed a gorilla during root canal.

(moment of silence for Colossus)

Let’s begin again.

Did I mention the nice weather? Yes…and the warm temperatures made cold Budweiser all-that-much-tastier. Let’s have three Buds now. It will make this funnier.
Since the camera was stolen by minimum-wage third-shifters, I’ve enlisted the help of an amateur courtroom reporter. Remember seeing the sketches from the OJ trial? Well, the woman who drew these saw those too.



I think the artist has truly captured this guy. Notice the fine detail of his barbed-wire arm ink. At least he doesn’t have, “Daddy’s Girl,” tattooed on his right thigh (as far as I know). If you ever get a close look at his inner thigh, let me know if steroids shrank his bits-n-pieces to the size of Sunmaid Raisins (not an official Party-in-the-Park sponsor).

If this guy were shorter…I’d think he was the famous Leprechaun of Mobile, Alabama.

Girl: Oh no you di’nt.
Me; Oh yes I did.

THAT BRINGS US TO 2 FAT GUYS IN A RICKSHAW-

“Two Fat Guys in a Rickshaw?” Who named this? A 17th century Dutch master?

NOTE: Dutch Master NOT an official Party-in-the-Park sponsor

I don’t recall this scene in quite-the-same way as it is drawn. Yes, there were 2 bigger guys in a rickshaw. Yes, their driver was having a tough time navigating their chariot through the throngs of pretty-people.

Here’s where things get fuzzy. I don’t remember the driver being so stereotypical Hop-Sing.

ARTIST NOTE:
It’s a statement about the oppression of immigrants.

CINCINNATI USA ATTORNEY NOTE:
It’s a white guy with a lampshade. Some party, huh?

I also don’t remember the fat guys looking like Jerry Garcia and Peppermint Patty.
“Aw Chuck!”


OH MOMMY!

This child has to be adopted. There’s no way this woman gave birth to anything. She’s 2 casaba melons glued to a bamboo shoot.

This woman could breast-feed all of Mayberry and half-of Mt. Pilot.


The answer is: Mt. Pilot.
The question is: What did the stewardess do?


Oh, well, ta-tas for now! See ya next...

Like Cincinnati music? Come listen to your next best bands, like 80s faves The Rusty Griswolds (pictured here looking particularly serious.)

Here's the 2006 line up for The Party Source Parties in the Park:

4/19 Tequila Mockinbird

4/26 Razin’ Kane

5/10 Catch 22

5/24 Off The Hook

6/7 Ten Foot Big

6/21 The Rusty Griswolds

7/5 Soul Progression

7/19 Leroy Ellington & The E-Funk Band

8/2 Marsha Brady

8/16 Forehead

8/30 Motion Sick

Where's Waldo? Find your next best...whatever at The Party Source Party in the Park! Post your comments, photos, etc.

This is a new blog, started to let people post the wild, wacky and sometimes wonderful things that they see/do/hear/imagine/wish at The Party Source Parties in the Park. Stop by and post your own!